Thursday, February 21, 2008

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Yesterday morning Steven and I were shocked to get the news that our friend Barb Terry had died. We had both worked with Barb at different times at USBank and we both considered her a friend. Her death was very sudden and very disturbing to both of us. She was 39 years old, a single mother of two (the youngest being only 8 months old) and she died from a blood clot that had developed in her knee, went undetected and ended up in her heart. They're thinking that the blood clot was a development of her pregnancy with Joseph, and 8 months later it ended up killing her.

When Steven called me yesterday morning to tell me the news I just started shaking. It didn't seem possible, it seemed like I had just seen her the other day. I immediately started thinking about her kids. Kaitlyn is 12 and is a total momma's girl and Joseph is so little and still so dependent on her. My mind keep racing over what would happen to them now that their mother was gone! Then I started to think what if it was me? What if it was my kids that were left behind- yes they have their dad, but what if he was gone too? All of these thoughts are very depressing but something like this really makes you confront your own mortality, and it's not a pretty picture.

We realized we don't have a will, we don't have nearly enough life insurance, we are not prepared for the inevitable end that has to come to all of us at some point but is still very elusive. So we will begin now to get our affairs in order starting with a will and a living will, funeral plans and getting more insurance. That way we know that our kids will be taken care of, and it will be done according to our wishes, and not decided by the courts after we are gone.

The other thing Barb's death did was to put things in perspective. I, like others, can get very wrapped up in petty and unimportant things. I don't want to do that. If tomorrow never comes I want my kids to remember me playing with them, not yelling at them, hugging them, not spanking them. I want my husband to remember the gentle side of me, not the nagging side that tends to come out when I'm frustrated with him. I want my friends and family to know that I love them and to not have to wonder when I'm gone. Yes all of this takes more work and we can't always be perfect, but I want my family's and friends memories to be good and happy.

Thanks Barb for waking us up! Thank you for your friendship. You were a great friend. You loved everybody and made people feel good about themselves. I just have to say- Barb, you rock!!!! We love you!


Playful Professional said...

Isn't it amazing how many crazy things like this have been happening lately. I swear I've heard of probably 10 deaths in the past couple months that were big shockers. You never know what's coming next and always have to be prepared for it. I'm determined to make a binder for Richie (since we don't have any kids yet) that has all of the necessary information that is in my head... and not in his. Sorry to hear about Barb, that's not fun at all :(

Nina said...

Bear, The great thing about this sistuation is that because of Barb, you have an opportunity to do it different. You are right - Barb was a loving, generous person with everyone she met - and I know she will be missed by the US Bank family. Just so you know, I know we're loved by you.

In Light of the Truth... said...

Sorry to hear about the loss! But thanks to Barb (and you!) for reminding me to get our will done too! It's on my list of goals and I probably think of it every couple weeks, but SERIOUSLY we NEED to just do it already!