Today

Today I feel very content in my life. We have some sun peeking out of all the clouds. The kids are outside running in the yard, riding bikes and finding frogs. Steven is trimming plants and flower beds, laying out mulch and all the fun yard things that come with early summer. As I was looking out the window watching Brianna riding her bike she caught me and gave a little wave. As I waved back I realized how peaceful I felt. It's amazing what a little sun can do for your attitude, but more than that I realized for about the millionth time how blessed I truly am. Yes life is crazy. It's unpredictable. A lot of times it's hard. But times like these I thank the Lord for the life He has blessed me with. It feels like the storm is passing through, and I'm excited to see what might be on the other side.

I Will Praise You in the Storm

This song has been playing in my head a lot over the past two weeks. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's only been two weeks...the time has really dragged on and sometimes it feels like forever since we lost our baby. I have moments that catch me completely off guard and I find myself sobbing. I never knew that you could miss something so much that you never really got to know. I always felt bad for women who had miscarriages, but I never really understood their pain. Oh boy, do I understand it now! It's a pain that I would never wish on any woman, or any family.

Steven has had a hard too. Some men don't get attached until the baby arrives, but not Steven. He gets attached the minute I say "I'm pregnant!", so he has taken it very hard. The kids have done OK. Brianna will occasionally come over to me and say "Mommy, I'm sad the baby died." I just hug her and say that I am sad too. And then, life goes on. And that's exactly how it should be. We can't stop forever, even though some days it's harder to get moving then others. But I make myself get up, get dressed, make my bed (it's less tempting to crawl back in it if it's made!), brush my teeth and hair. Luckily I have two little guys at home with me all day, so I'm forced to get on with life. And more than that, they keep me laughing and playing and for that I am very grateful!

This weekend Steven and I are going with some great friends to Gatlinburg. We have a cabin up in the mountains, with a view and a hot tub (holla!!! lol!) It's going to be a great trip, and one that we really need! We haven't been away, just us, since Brianna was 11 months old. And that trip was to Gatlinburg too! But we're glad to be going with this group of friends (there will be 6 couples total, all from our church) And after the last two weeks, the time to be alone, and just be Steven and Kari, and not Mommy and Daddy will be very welcome time.

Here's a video I found on YouTube for the Casting Crowns song "I Will Praise You in the Storm". This song has helped me a lot over the past two weeks. It's my reminder that no matter what path we are walking in our lives, Jesus is right there beside us, and we never walk it alone. I learned a long time ago to praise Him in the storm...and we've been able to do that even now. It's been a great comfort!

My Heartbreak

Thursday, May 4, 2011, our baby went home to meet Jesus. It is so hard to write those words..it makes it feel so very real! Right now my heart is so broken that I wonder how I can breathe! I now have 4 children, 3 in my arms, and one waiting for us in Heaven. I know that one day I will hold this baby in my arms, but at times that does little to help the hurt in my heart! I want to know what you would have been. I wish I would have gotten the chance to hold you in my arms. But for now I have to let you go with the angels, and trust that one day I will get to see you, to hold you, to love you the way I want to now. I love you so much, my dear sweet baby! I will always remember you, and I will forever be thankful for the short time you were here with us!

Love always and forever, your Mommy

Tonight I'm Very Proud to Be an American

We were laying bed tonight when my mom came upstairs and asked us if we were sleeping. We said no and she said "I wanted to tell you that President Obama is coming on at 10:30 to make a statement." My first thought was "Oh ****, this can't be good!" We sat up and turned on the TV. My brother, who works for a US Senator on Capitol Hill called my mom a few minutes later and said "You aren't going to want to miss this...the buzz on the Hill is that We have killed Osama Bin Laden and we have his body in our possession. We don't know for sure, but that's the word!" Once again, I was glad to have a brother in the know. 

10 minutes later the TV stations started to confirm what he had said, OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD! The man who 10 years ago this September caused such great heartache in our country, who single handedly started a war that has been raging for years, is dead! After all the fighting, the loss of so many troops, pain and sorrow, the terrorist of all terrorists is dead!

So, what does this mean for us? Will the war end right away? Will our boys (and girls) come home? Are we safer? Well, no, no and probably not! Afghanistan needs to be stabilized before we pull out. We will bring our troops home, but it's not going to be tomorrow! And unfortunately, we still have plenty of groups out there besides Al Queda and Bin Laden, who hate us and would like to see our downfall. But, for 10 years we have wanted to see the mastermind behind 9/11 and so many other attacks against our Embassy's over seas finally get what he deserves. He has gone home to meet his Maker, and I'm just guessing here, that Allah is not going to bless him the way he was expecting to be blessed!

A job well done to the troops who brought him down! Thank you to all the men and women who work so hard and risk their lives on a daily basis to protect our freedoms and to protect us from people like Bin Laden. Stay safe and come home soon! God Bless our Troops and God Bless the United States of America!

Today I Wish I Was British!

Today the much anticipated Royal Wedding of Prince William of Wales to Catherine Middleton took place in London. I have had a love affair with Prince William and the House of Windsor for as long as I can remember. I had such a crush on William growing up! When I was going to grow up I wanted to move to London, meet William and become his Princess! Well, that obviously didn't happen, but today he married a truly stunning and regal woman. I was up at 4 am this morning to watch the coverage from beginning to end (although, it still hasn't ended. Even as I write this all the major news organizations are still talking about it and showing recaps! I'm loving it!! lol) I laid on the couch and watched as the guests filled into Westminster Abbey. I remember all too well the funeral of Princess Diana in that amazing structure and noticed how completely different the mood was around this occasion. (I was 15 when Princess Diana died, and got up at 5 in the morning to watch her funeral. I remember crying sooo hard, especially watching the Princes walk behind her coffin on the way to the Abbey. I was a huge Diana lover, and at that time even had her hair cut! Yes, at 15! I told you I've always had a love affair with the Royal Family!) It was sad to think that she wasn't going to be there to spend this day with her son, whom she so adored! But I know she was smiling down on them and must have been bursting with pride for her son!

And while I loved watching all the guests arrive I started getting so excited when Princes William and Harry left Clarence House for their trip to the Abbey! Everything happened so quickly from there! I caught my breath as Kate stepped out of the Rolls Royce in front of the Abbey. Her dress was gorgeous! It was simple and elegant and oh so Kate! Totally her style and just perfect! One of my favorite moments was seeing Harry turn around to catch a glimpse of Kate as she was coming down the aisle and then turned to his brother and said something. I wish we knew what it was...but my bet is it was something like "Dude! You are so lucky!" lol

The detail on this dress was incredible!!! I loved the lace and the veil was beautiful too!

Photo courtesy of the Today Show

Now that's a Princess wedding dress! And here's a shock-it's modest! Her boobs aren't hanging out and it isn't strapless..definitely not an American Designer for this dress! lol

  The service itself was beautiful, and again very simple. I think the thing that surprised me the most was how normal it all seemed. Just another man and woman coming together on a day to get married, but this wasn't just another man and woman. This was the future Queen and King of England! It was unreal because it didn't feel stuffy and too "British", which the Royals are often accused of being. I think it shows that maybe the future of the Royal Family is going to look very different than the present.

I thought it was interesting that she was the only one who got a ring! And it was so simple and beautiful!

 I loved watching them on the balcony at Buckingham Palace. Kate's face when they walked out was priceless, and she said "Oh wow!" lol-Oh wow is right honey! Your life is forever changed! And lucky for her the British people seem to love her! I know I do! (And I'm not British, although today I wish I was!!) The first Royal Kiss was a little disappointing, but knowing how shy Prince William is and how he doesn't like PDA's I was kind of surprised we got one at all! But not to upset the crowd a few minutes later there was another kiss, this one longer and much more satisfying to the crowds gathered below! They looked totally at ease and like they were thoroughly enjoying themselves. That was great to see! 

Photo courtesy of the AP (Associated Press)

Then, the big surprise a few hours later, when William and Kate drove out of Buckingham Palace in Prince Charles's Ashton Martin, top down, decorated like any newly married couples car. William was behind the wheel, and they both looked so comfortable and so radiant! The crowd went crazy! It was so fun! And I think it really showed the personality and fun side of these two!

Could she be any prettier!?!? It really makes me want to gag! lol!

 I can't wait to see pictures from the reception, especially Kate's dress! I have a feeling she won't be wearing that Alexander McQueen dress to dance the night away! Above all though, I hope they have the time of their life and live up every second of it! Congratulations Prince William and Princess Kate! You are helping the world believe that fairy tales can and do come true! Never let go of the love you felt today! I can't wait to see what your life together will bring!

And just in case you didn't get up at 4 am and you somehow haven't seen any of the coverage from today, here is the Royal Wedding, in 3 minutes! Enjoy!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Updated Family Pictures

Even though, come November these will already be outdated, we had family pictures taken a couple of weeks ago. I have to say that these are my favorite family pictures ever!!!

Our family of 5, just months before it becomes a family of 6...wow! That is so crazy to think about! Last night at dinner things were a little crazy. Brianna looked at me and said "And you want to have another baby!" I looked at her and said "Well, Bri...there's nothing I can do about it now!" She said with the straightest face "Well, just don't have it!" lol...I just started laughing and then she said "If you keep peeing on that stick it's just going to say 'You're pregnant. You're pregnant. You're pregnant like 100 times!" By that point I was rolling...if only it was all the sticks fault that I'm so tired, slightly nauseous and just all around blah all the time right now! The funny thing is she is very excited about the baby most of the time..it just tells you how hectic things must have been for her to be so negative! lol

Overall though things are going very well. I am 9 weeks along and already starting to show. I had to go out and buy some maternity clothes the other day (since I gave all of my stuff away just a matter of months ago!!!) because my pants are already tight. And not just tight, I have a certified baby bump already! lol I have barely had any morning sickness which is a HUGE improvement over the other three who I was sick with from the time I'd wake up until I would go to bed! I am just exhausted and my house is starting to show it! Looks like really tiny baby steps are going to be how I survive this pregnancy! Well, I've been sitting on my butt long enough this morning. Time to find the energy to do something...maybe I'll go fold some clothes...I can sit on my butt to do that right!?!?!

Name This Post

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!

Baby #4 will be joining us in November! So far I'm feeling OK...a little sick here and there and way tired but overall, OK.

We are all very excited! I'll post more info as we get it, and of course, coming soon will be ultrasound pictures! Yippee!!!